50 Things I Worry About
If we are defined as humans in part by the things we choose to worry over, let the following list be a window into the psyche of a Mate on a research vessel, and a portrait of a modern sailor in the style of Picasso.
- 200 pounds of the Chinese space lab landing “safely out to sea.”
- Hitting a whale, or a container full of rubber duckies bound for Walmart that’s fallen off a cargo ship and is floating a foot underwater.
- Rust in dark places
- Bedbugs, lice, dental problems and the flu
- Fishing gear in the thrusters
- Watching expensive science gear disappear under the bow
- Running out of floss
- Running out of bleach
- Running out of hand lotion
- Having enough good coffee, and the means to brew it
- Becoming a hoarder (see #6 through #9)
- How often will laundry need to be secured to keep science happy or make it through an in-port
- UFO’s
- Whether the Captain & Chief Scientist are getting enough sleep
- Whether doing this job means I’m not normal
- Whether I’ll be normal when I get home in 3 or 4 or 6 months
- Whether my cat will remember me
- Extra-Tropical storms that have no names and don’t make the CNN news feed
- Covert stashes of fireworks
- Ice that’s not in a glass or a cooler
- Whether my podcasts were saved after downloading
- Running backwards off the treadmill when the ship takes a roll
- Wire angle and the inevitable wind shift
- Stowaways
- Unreported harassment
- The Alien-esque eruption of my inner bitch
- The last time that yoga mat was washed
- Becoming complacent
- Losing socks
- Explaining binge-drinking and cigar-smoking to my physician
- Using the right words when speaking on the radio
- Blood on the gangway
- Under-keel clearance
- GPS spoofing
- Safe working load
- Clean pillows
- Staying fit enough to be useful
- Remembering how to do my job after giving it over to someone else for several months
- People who shun science
- Being shunned as an American in a foreign port
- The combination of a drunken sailor, a small boat and the pilot ladder
- Whether it’s possible to develop an allergy to blanket fuzz
- Unexplained itchiness
- Sudden, unexpected silence
- Sudden, unexpected noise
- Being late to watch
- Barnacles on the draft marks
- Balancing necessary ship’s maintenance with science activities
- Losing the plant in a heavy following sea
- How many Sharpies I can steal from the science party without notice
Deck department conducting pull test on trawl wire termination.
Written by Jennifer Hickey (Chief Mate)
This list says it all . . . and only one who is on a ship like this will ever ever understand !
In 1988, I was on the Argentinean BAHIA PARAISO as it replenished their bases for another year. Off Deception Island, the helicopter overloaded the netting boxes – the one carrying $500,000 worth of research equipment for the Spanish base on Deception. Like a stork delivering a baby below, the heli was pulled down by the weight and would sink also. In front of my eyes, they cut the netting. A few minutes later the sea was filled with floating wooden boxes, continually bobbing up. No thought of rescue of them! We moved on.
The Spanish scientists said” we might as well go home”. But couldn’t!!
When the BAHIA went down with us in 1989, no deaths except for the 100,000 cockroaches on board who will forever reside in waters next to Palmer Station in Antarctica.